Foundation For Large Families
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We Are Family
Two Families Blended Into One Amazing Family
ABC.com
3/11/03
Dave and Cheri Bollmann sit at the helm of this tight ship, with the size of their family making organization a necessity.
The Bollmanns have 11 children — Country, E.J., David, Kelly, Steve, Stacie, Nancy, Drew, Christopher, Cinnamon, and Sarah — ranging in age from 7 to 17. Some of the kids are black and some are white. Since they perform as a musical group, they have been described as "the Jackson Five meets the Partridge Family."
The Bollmanns, who call themselves a "blended family," came together through a mix of faith, fortune and love. They are the first in a series of "Amazing Families" that will be featured on Good Morning America this week.
New Neighbors, Fast Friends
Five years ago, Dave and Cheri Bollmann's lives seemed busy enough. They were raising and home-schooling their four children, all on a single salary from Dave's job training U.S. Navy Seals. But then, in May 1997, new neighbors arrived who would change their lives.
It started out simply. Much to the delight of two of the Bollmann brothers, the new kids on the block liked basketball too, and soon they were playing together.
"We noticed these two black guys playing on our hoop. They were our age and about our height also. They were just starting to shoot on our hoop and we were like 'Sweet, we have some ballers,' " said Dave Bollmann, 16.
"And they came out and said 'Can we shoot?' and we said, 'Yeah, it's your hoop.' And that's how it all started," said E.J., one of the seven newcomers who had just moved in with their dad's relatives.
Father Struggling With Seven Kids
The new kids' father was separated from his wife and had been struggling to care for his children for quite a while. Finally, he had moved the family to Virginia Beach, Va. to stay with relatives.
"Life was moving around," remembers Country, E.J.'s sister, who is 17. "We were never in a stable position. We were always going somewhere. We were always wondering what's going to happen next."
Three months later, the relatives in Virginia Beach said they could no longer help, and told the family it was time to leave. The Bollmanns offered to care for the children until the father could find a job, but he declined.
"So we had a going away party with all the kids and ate a lot of pizza and pretty much sent 'em off and we didn't know what was going to happen," David Bollmann said. But then, a week later, the Bollmanns received a phone call. "In fact E.J. gave us a call and said, 'Mr. B, we're coming back,' and we looked at each other and went, 'Wow, how are we going to do this with a 1,5000-square-foot house and a bath and a half," David Bollman recalled.
Harmony and Sadness
E.J. told the Bollmans that his father had decided to take them up on their offer. He gave the couple temporary custody of his children and left to find work. The Bollmanns' church immediately pitched in, donating clothes, food and financial support. Hoping to do something to help out, the new additions and the Bollmann children came up with an idea.
"What we did, because we couldn't pay them back financially, we started choreographing music," Country said. From their first performance at the Bollmanns' church, they were a hit. Word spread and soon other churches and youth groups were inviting them to perform. One year later, Dave and Cheri Bollmann were honored as Virginia's foster parents of the year.
In the interim, the Bollmanns learned that the children had had a difficult family history. At their previous residence in Harrisonburg, Va., social workers had been getting ready to take custody of the children, because they suspected neglect by their biological parents. The social workers tracked the kids down in October 1997, and told the Bollmanns they had to take the children into the care of the state.
After a hearing, the Bollmanns were given temporary custody and were allowed to take all seven children back to their home. In August 1998, social workers called the Bollmanns to report that the children's birth mother and father had had their parental rights terminated. Finally, in 1999, social workers asked the couple if they would be willing to adopt all seven kids.
"When we took the kids initially we really believed that the dad would be able to get his children back," Cheri Bollmann said. "We had to sit down and go, 'Are we up for this for a lifetime?' "
It's Official — They're Family
On Aug. 23, 2000, they were officially one family, with the adoptions complete.
The one-time neighborhood friends now call each other brother and sister. Instead of calling the Bollmanns "Mr. and Mrs. B," the children call them "Mom" and "Dad."
"I've heard over and over again, 'I can't believe you did that, I can't believe,' and yet when I look at the children I think, I don't know how I couldn't do it," Cheri Bollmann said.
Because half the family is white and half is black, they do get some raised eyebrows when traveling together.
When Sarah was five, and her mom said they were going to adopt their foster children, the young girl wondered if they would have to be painted in order to become Bollmanns, her mother said.
"Because initially she was thinking to be a Bollmann you have to be white," Cheri Bollmann said. "I said 'Wow, that's kind of precious,' because you know people sometimes wear shirts that say love is color-blind, and Sarah so loved these children, but she was able to see the color and she was able to see the difference and yet love them." ]
That is how the family has come to regard their differences, too.
"So I say love isn't color-blind, love sees the color and loves the diversity and loves the beauty of it and embraces it," Cheri Bollmann said.
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