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Dan O'Brien-biography
by Claudia Hutchison
Dan O'Brien was born in Portland, Oregon, in 1966. His father was an African-American, and his mother was half Finnish, but he was adopted by an Irish-American couple from Klamath Falls, Oregon, at age two.
Dan comes from a family with seven kids, five of them adopted. With such a large family, his parents bought an old school bus and painted the name "Gulliver" on it for their travels through the hills and woods. His father worked in the timber industry grading logs at a local mill. He worked long hours to make enough money for the family to live on. "He worked a lot of overtime, thank goodness," said Virginia O'Brien. "I raised cows, milked them every morning, looked after the calves. We had a garden. I canned my vegetables and fruits. Everyone had chores in the garden, weeding and so on." The family had dinner together every night and attended church regularly.
With an interest in sports that started early with Little League baseball, people came to his games just to see him run. By high school, he was on the track, baseball, and basketball teams. All these sports interested him, but Dan said he was motivated mo st by his high school football coach, Lee Schroeder. "I became a much more motivated athlete because of his teachings. Losing wasn't an option; we won because we were organized and disciplined. He really got on me when I was lazy because I wasn't a real motivated athlete in high school until my junior and senior year," Dan said.
After high school, the University of Idaho offered Dan a full track scholarship. Dan partied so much that he lost his scholarship and had to drop out of school. He knew he had hit rock bottom. But thanks to University of Idaho coach Mike Keller, Dan got a second chance. "It was a real Man in the Mirror type thing for me," said Dan. "I knew I had to change."
Change he did. Although his famed miss at the U.S. Olympic trials in 1992 still plagues him, he took the advice of 1956 Olympic decathlon champion Milton Campbell, who said it's important to clearly define your goals. Now Dan carries a piece of paper with him that has his goal of 9,000 points on one side and world's greatest athlete on the other. With the help of his coaching staff, teachers, family, and others, Dan has answered the question, "Who's the world's greatest athlete?" As the current world record holder and 1996 Olympic gold medalist in the decathlon and someone who has risen from the depths of failure, the answer is clearly Dan O'Brien.
Oregon's Famous Adoptee
One of the most well-known young adult adoptees is Oregon's own Dan O'Brien, the 1996 Olympic Decathlon Gold Medalist.
As a "waiting child" of mixed racial background, young Dan spent his first two years in foster care before he was adopted by a loving family and raised in the rural farming community of Klamath Falls in Southern Oregon.
Although he has no memories of his life prior to adoption, Dan does remember the first day he met the O'Brien family. "They took me to the Portland Zoo, and I was scared to put my head in the drinking fountain because it was the shape of a huge lion head." He also remembers entering the O'Brien family home for the first time and being shown his bedroom. The presence of his new sister, Karen, then age four, helped him feel more comfortable. Now, twenty-eight years later, Dan O'Brien has much to say about t he difference adoption made in his life.
When asked what was difficult about being adopted, Dan refers to the holes in his history. He says he had no past to follow and, as a teenager, struggled a little with his identity. He had to develop the African-American part of his cultural identity on h is own, as that was not something his Caucasian parents could teach him. He recalls having an extremely diverse range of friends throughout junior high and high school because he was wondering where he belonged. He used to think of himself as "a chameleon" because he could fit in with any group. In college, he was surprised by the "reverse discrimination" he experienced when he tried hanging out with other African-Americans. He found out he "knew nothing about being Black." But overall, he says of his placement with parents of a different race, "It was no big thing." The many benefits he received from his adoption far outweighed what was missing.
O'Brien sees adoption as the major source of his success. Adoption enabled him to grow up in a stable, nurturing family with involved parents, supportive brothers and sisters, and loving extended family. He always felt loved--something he says every child deserves, whether raised by biological or adoptive parents. Dan certainly acknowledges the genetics which endowed him with physical prowess, but he says it was the teachings of his parents, Jim and Virginia O'Brien, which gave him the values that have served him well throughout his life and have vaulted him to high places. These values include hard work, determination, and perseverance. Says Dan, "I never gave up--no matter how hard the struggle." Yet he readily admits that he didn't take sports--or anything--too seriously while growing up, but instead made sure he had his share of fun.
His mom can vouch for that! Virginia O'Brien recalls Dan's participation in a Little League team which did not win a single game. Young Dan claimed it was the best team he had ever been on because he had fun and got to try playing the different positions. Even as an older athlete, Dan's playful manner sometimes seemed at odds with more serious competition. For example, Virginia O'Brien tells of Dan's leading the applause for his Russian roommate's pole vault at the Good Will Games. "He was still having fu n even then and was not fiercely competitive."
On the surface it would seem Dan O'Brien has led a charmed life, but he has had his share of struggles. He cites his first experience with college. Too much partying and not enough academic discipline caused him to lose his athletic scholarship. He had to lean upon O'Brien-family-style perseverance to pull himself through. It took a tremendous amount of courage--the kind a young boy musters to put his head into the lion's mouth--to acknowledge his mistakes, take out loans, and keep going. In addition to t he "never give up" attitude, O'Brien also credits his successes to his religious training he received from his parents. He declares, "I have always been sure of a Supreme Being greater than myself."
The intercultural O'Brien family consists of father Jim and mother Virginia and their eight children. Dan's brothers and sisters are (in the order in which they joined the family): Kathie and Scot t, Mrs. O 'Brien's birth children from her former marriage; Karen, a Native American girl whom the O'Briens adopted at age 4 prior to Dan's placement; Patricia, a girl of mixed racial background placed as a toddler; Tom, of Hispanic background, who was al so placed as a toddler; Sara, a Korean girl adopted at age 4; and Laura, also Korean-born, and adopted at age 10. Although the family is spread out geographically, they do manage to keep contact and see each other at holidays.
The decision to adopt was not a difficult one for Jim and Virginia. One Christmas Eve, after two years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive a child, the couple found themselves stuffing a Christmas stocking for Scott (then a high school senior) and prancing about in talcum powder to leave the trail of Santa's footprints. They suddenly looked at each other and exclaimed, "This is ridiculous--we should have some younger kids here!" And so began their venture into adoption.
Virginia O'Brien speaks with effusive love and pride about all her children--all young adults, some raising children of their own. When people comment on how proud she must be of Dan, she responds, "I have eight wonderful children and I'm equally proud of all eight." She is very clear that it is Dan O'Brien the person, not the Olympian, who is the source of her pride. She is pleased that Dan is always available to help his family when help is needed, and has an "if it's mine it's yours" attitude.
Mrs. O'Brien sees little difference between parenting through birth and through adoption--"At least, my feelings were no different." The family was very open about adoption. Dan recalls that it was all right to talk about birth families and adoption issue s in his home. The O'Briens gave their adopted children all the information they had about the circumstances of their adoptions. They promised support if the children wanted to search for birth family members, which some have done successfully.
As for Dan, he has considered a search, but doesn't have the burning desire some adoptees have. He admits only to a natural curiosity. He decided to delay any decision about a search prior to the Olympics, because he didn't want an emotional experience to distract him. Now he says he might again consider searching when he isn't so busy.
Dan O'Brien's popularity and media coverage have focused a spotlight on adoption, one which all of the O'Briens hope will encourage others to make a difference for a child through adoption. Mrs. O'Brien cautions prospective adoptive parents to examine the ir motivation. While the desire to "do something for humanity" might have its place, she believes that a person should have at least "partially selfish" motives to adopt. She says parents should want "to have a child to love and to call your own." Having had such a positive adoption experience himself, Dan O'Brien says he can easily envision himself as an adoptive parent in the future.
While his mother offers advice to adoptive parents, Dan has plenty to say to adopted children, and to youth in general. He advises all young people to "Never give up!... Try many things, find the things you like to do... set attainable goals, and keep app lying yourself." He thinks adolescents should "question authority just a little--just so you can understand things for yourself."
As for adoption issues, he wants children to understand that it's okay to be of mixed or unknown heritage. He hopes each adopted child can come to accept him/herself for who they are. He encourages adopted children to learn as much as they can about their heritage. He wants them to know that it's okay to have unknowns in their histories, and to understand the importance of focusing on the present and the future. "You need to create your own history and your own legacy from here."
He also hopes adoptees will remain connected to their adoptive families. "I've seen some adopted kids who want to flee their adoptive home at age 18 and not look back--that's wrong. You need to be there for the people who are there for you now!" Dan O'Brien's life is a testimony to the positive difference adoption can make for all whose lives it touches.
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