Foundation For Large Families
Information email: largefamilies2001@yahoo.com
Committed to Caring
by Janice Posada
The Columbus Dispatch, AP
COLUMBUS (AP) -- Visitors knock on Tom and Linda Eckfeld's door and expect a saint to answer.
Once they're inside the airy, two-story house, many expect children dressed in hospital gowns, lying motionless in bed.
"A lot of people leave here disappointed," Mrs. Eckfeld said.
Since 1985, the Canal Winchester couple have adopted 22 children with varying degrees of disability.
"People think I never lose my temper and I talk softly all the time," she said. "They come in and I'm screaming my head off.
"This is a house full of kids running ... screaming, fighting and playing."
Eight suffer brain damage and require 24-hour nursing care, which is paid for by Medicaid. They are attached to ventilators and heart monitors.
The children range in age from 2 to 18 years old. Their disabilities range from learning disorders to severe neurological problems. "A lot of people only think of adopting a healthy child. They don't see that these kids can give you a lot of love and a lot of joy," Mrs. Eckfeld said.
Other times, however, are spent mourning.
On June 2, the family lost Cindy, a 3-year-old. Born to drug-addicted parents, Cindy spent her short life hooked to a ventilator after seizures damaged her brain.
When they took her home, the Eckfelds surrounded her with butterflies. "That was her mascot, she was so pretty," Mrs. Eckfeld said.
Through the years, five of the 22 children they have adopted have died.
That seems only to strengthen the Eckfelds, who say they are deeply committed to caring for medically fragile children. Death, they say, is part of their life. As is happiness.
Two days after Cindy's death, they watched their 18-year-old daughter Christina receive her high-school diploma.
"You wallow in the pity, until one of the children says something really funny and you get pushed forward," Mrs. Eckfeld said.
Experts say that kind of attitude is essential.
"When you adopt a child with special needs, you have to be creative in what you're doing and how you parent," said Karen Hinton, adoption supervisor with Spalding Society for Children, a nonprofit, special-needs adoption agency based in Southfield, Mich.
"You can't follow a set of rigid rules."
In 1974, the Eckfelds were busy raising their three biological children, Tammy, 7, Tricia, 3, and Trent, 1.
That year, however, Tricia developed meningitis and lapsed into a coma. Doctors told the family that she would never awaken.
In a chapel at Children's Hospital, Mr. Eckfeld vowed to God that if his daughter recovered he would help other children.
Two months later, she recovered.
In November 1985, they adopted their first child. Currently, there are 17 living in their home.
Household expenses run $5,000 a month.
Mr. Eckfeld, 54, is director of information services for OhioHealth.
His medical insurance covers the children. When he reaches the $1 million insurance limit per child, Medicaid kicks in.
"We're careful shoppers," Mrs. Eckfeld said, adding that the list of hand-me-downs includes wheelchairs, hospital beds and clothing.
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