by Pamela
How do you teach your children to handle prejudice?
Well. I think that you start with giving your children a really GOOD, honest self image. In order to handle the prejudices and sometimes just flat stupidity of life our kids....all of them regardless of racial background ... need to have a healthy sense of their own self worth.
Once they have that, they can weather a lot of life's little storms and unfairness. Make sure your kids know that their value as a person is NOT attached to 'what' they are but to 'who' they are .... that they are each individual and special and precious gifts from the Lord.
Next: give them a good sense of cultural pride. I want all of my children to:
1) be proud of their own ethnic diversity and
2) be comfortable and appreciative of others ethnic backgrounds.
So we celebrate all of our differing backgrounds...
Teach your kids to have a sense of humor. Laughter can deflect a lot of hurt in this world. Don't take every little stupid comment to heart...not EVERY comment is intended to 'hurt' sometimes they are just honestly...well...stupid! LOL!
Now...all that said....you also have to appreciate that our minority children really have a lot going FOR them. They do not need us to feel sorry for the adversity they will face in life...pity does not make them stronger.
They need us to be realistic with them; to be HONEST with them....but that means they need to appreciate that they have some good things going for them as well as some hardships to face. They have scholarships and grants our 'white' kids don't get. They are sought by business and employers. Yes, they have to work hard to be viewed as 'as good'... but if they DO...they can really shine!
If we do a good job (which is, after all, every parents' goal, right?) the result is our children are competent, self assured people who are comfortable in their own skins, and with people of many cultures...including their own...AND able to relate to and 'fit into' the predominant 'white' culture. My son has found this to be very much to his advantage...he is comfortable virtually anywhere and people enjoy his presence; gives him a real edge in business...
OK....back to the real world. Yep, the kids have faced some prejudice we have had to face head on and deal with...primarily with our oldest son. Teachers who have made rude racial comments....like, "You don't have to worry about biology class, we'll help you. Black people just aren't very good at science." EEEK! The child was gifted! Needless to say he was furious. Mom was furious! He handled it before we could though... smiled at that stupid teacher and offered to call the NAACP and let them know our school's opinion of black people and science
But there is also the added positive that things ARE changing. The atmosphere we were rearing our first transcultural children in was much more prejudiced than today....and things continue to improve. Not that they are perfect...but it is so much better than 15 or 20 years ago.
If you live in a truly bigoted area then you really need to give serious consideration to moving for your own and your childrens' well being. But don't let a few stupid people run you off...sometimes they just need the opportunity to get to know our kids. Our children can melt even the hardest hearts :) Sometimes they just need the chance.
I know it is hard to see people who don't see past the color of our childrens' skin to the inner beauty...feel sorry for THEM...not for our kids. They have us. They have God's totally colorblind love. They will be fine.
God bless, Pamela
"As for me and my house we will serve the Lord"
Loving wife of David, blessed to be the Mom of 7 children: Michael, Lorien, Caitlin, Ashley, Daisha, Nikki, and Aleczander...
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